Thoughtslogue
Monday, November 21, 2005
Everyone wishes each other happy thanksgiving during this time of the year. Its the day to give thanks, to get together with family, to enjoy the warmth of intimacy. Well, at least thats what it sounds like or should be. After years of spending this family holiday with people I rarely knew or by myself. I cannot help but wondering, Is it possible to be happy during Thanksgiving?
Its been over four years since I saw my sisters and over one year since my parents visited me here in Nashville. I didnt realize how much I miss the connection with the family until recently. The dream about meeting them and share stories keeps waking me up in the middle of the night. Any family gathering situations in dramas or movies make me cry. I can be a lot happier during any other time than the holiday season. All the jolly music and perfect family portraits only make matters worse. I got invitations every year to attend friends family dinner on Thanksgiving or Christmas. The thoughts of being around with people makes me feel warmth. But I came home afterwards more depressed each time because I miss my family. It sounds pessimistic, doesnt it?
I watched Grays Anatomy tonight. The group of surgeons deals with their own issues in this ought-to-be-jolly holiday. It make me feel a little relieved that Im not the only one who feel depressed during the holiday.
Posted at 9:06 PM in Thoughts
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
My grandma passed away yesterday afternoon(CMT), which is early morning in Beijing the next day. She died during sleep. Everybody says that's better, no suffering and all. But I feel so sad for her because she was alone during the last moment of her life. Wish you peace in heaven, Grandma.
Posted at 4:49 PM in Thoughts
Wednesday, December 1, 2004
Today is World AIDS Day. Many websites changed the front to bloody red color. The montage of the faces of people who are infected with HIV/AIDS reminds everyone the disease hasn't gone away and the infected men, women, gays or straights are everywhere. It's a great day to educate the mass about the danger of the disease and how to prevent it by practicing safe sex and healthy life styles. It's also a great day to bridge the gap of understanding and to make the world more compassionate.
The epidemic is growing wilder in the past 20 years. Hope 21st century will shine the light on finding the cure for the deadly disease.
Posted at 10:59 PM in Thoughts
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
After working for a few months, I'm reaching an enthusiasm plateau. Although I know I have to do things to be successful, I'm not doing it most of time. The consequence is that it's very draining emotionally everyday after work thinking "oh, gosh, I didn't do much or anything at all". I realize it's a dangerous stage and decide to make a change.
Although I usually don't like to hear other people talk about how self-help books and tapes improved their lives significantly, I personally don't mind finding the right book by myself. After I do find the right one, starting it is another challenge. The draining plateau is enough for me to say--it's now or never. I want to be in charge of my life. There are so many things I need to change.
I have been thinking negatively about what Mom did to us emotionally and imagine how much better I will be today if she didn't do such and such... If I haven't waste so much time in the past, how far ahead will I be by now? If I learned when I was a kid how to deal with people and build positive relationships, how much happier will I be? Too much complaining and no actions. I hate myself for that. Oh, wait a minute, that's another bad association. The focus shall be I am in charge and I can become who I want to be. The key is to target the problems when I face them, be positive about situation and make the best out of anything.
When I woke up this morning, a few things appeared in my mind, I suddenly realized I have been thinking about other people's caring comment as a critic. The association I had before is so wrong. The good thing is I'm happy about it because I now knew something is wrong and I can fix it. Good changes will come along while keeping the positive attitude towards life.
I haven't been updating the website for a while, I am gonna keep up the momentum of learning and jot down small things that happened in my head. It's a great start again.
Posted at 9:42 AM in Thoughts
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Nick Berg, 26, a contractor from West Chester, PA was decaptitated by Islamic Extremist recently. I watched the video this morning and I was beyond being shocked. Nothing can be more barbaric than what those hooded people have done to a human being.
We have learned in history lessons and book how much pain and ugliness war bring to the world. We might all have thought things like that would not happen again because we all learned some painful lessons from it. But since the war started, my bubbles has been bursted many times. Innocent people's lives are taken away in God's name. Is that painful? Yes. But even worse, it's the attitude some of people are having make it more painful and sad. They don't care and violence is the only venue for them to "solve" problems.
I thought there is no more bubbles left in my mind about the status of the world. Guess what? Wrong again. When I hear the shrieks from Nick, I'm outraged, horrified, and more importantly extremely sad, for him, for the barbarians who have done such an ungodly deed. There are a few times in my life that I felt like there are no words to describe what I feel. This is one of them.
Some people think this horrible incident will make Bush's anti-terrorism war legitimate. No, absolutely not. Without the bully policy from Bush and his administration, this will not happen to Nick Berg. Bush has done everything he is capable of doing to make more enemies. If the reasoning that his purpose is for oil, the price is too big. If the reason that he went to war is for terrorism, the price is even bigger. An eye for an eye, Bush and his people need to understand the logic of the basic text from his holy book.
September 11 is a sad day, the days when Iraqi soldiers are abused are sad days, the days when Daniel Pearl (2002) and Nick Berg (2004) are beheaded are sad days. It's sad because the behaviors are beyond comprehension and inhumane. For those who died during this war, I pray for you to have peace in heaven when you cannot have peace on earth.
I'm listening to U2's Peace on Earth. It has a fairy tale feel at this moment.
Peace On Earth
by U2
Heaven on Earth, we need it now
I'm sick of all of this hanging around
Sick of sorrow, sick of the pain
I'm sick of hearing again and again
That there's gonna be peace on Earth
Where I grew up there weren't many trees
Where there was we'd tear them down
And use them on our enemies
They say that what you mock
Will surely overtake you
And you become a monster
So the monster will not break you
And it's already gone too far
Who said that if you go in hard
You won't get hurt?
Jesus can you take the time
To throw a drowning man a line
Peace on Earth
Tell the ones who hear no sound
Whose sons are living in the ground
Peace on Earth
No whos or whys
No one cries like a mother cries
For peace on Earth
She never got to say goodbye
To see the color in his eyes
Now he's in the dirt
Peace on Earth
They're reading names out over the radio
All the folks the rest of us won't get to know
Sean and Julia, Gareth and Ann and Breda
Their lives are bigger than any big idea
Jesus can you take the time
To throw a drowning man a line
Peace on Earth
To tell the ones who hear no sound
Whose sons are living in the ground
Peace on Earth
Jesus sing a song you wrote
The words are sticking in my throat
Peace on Earth
Hear it every Christmas time
But hope and history won't rhyme
So what's it worth
This peace on Earth
Peace on Earth
Peace on Earth
Peace on Earth
Posted at 10:25 AM in Thoughts
Monday, April 26, 2004
30 going on 13 made movie 13 going on 30. A very lovely movie. I was jogging on the treadmill around noon on last Friday. Day to Day on NPR reviewed "13 Going On 30" as a bunch of 30 years old trying to be 13. What a bummer! Quite frankly speaking, it should be interpreted as a compliment. 
How many of us have lost ourself growing up? Where are the big dreams and innocent feeling? Jenna (by Jennifer Garner) woke up one day and found herself being 30 and is a big time fashion magzine editor. All it took is a wish on her 13th birthday. She was beautiful and was loved by a cute chubby Mattie (by Mark Ruffalo). But she doesn't appreciate and doesn't know how to appreciate what she had. Nothing was more appealing to her than being a hot blonde. So when she woke up dealing with 30 years old grownups with her 13 years old innocent mentality, she realized what she lost is the true friend and a caring family. The guilty and shameful Jenna had a little talk with Mom, and she asked, "What do you want to change if you have chance to relive it all over again? ". 
Mom said, "Nothing, because without mistakes, you won't realize how you can do better."
Jenna was a lovely girl, she became a "bitch" and lost herself, then she found her true self again on her 30s. She learned to cherish the beauty of the past and just being herself.
I talked with Steve a few days ago and I asked him whether he remember what he said not long ago... He didn't remember he said "solitude is good for you sometimes" to me. Yes, solitude is good for me in the past year. I spent time thinking what I have done in the past. Nothing bad really. Just a typical kid thinking himself is bigger than the world. Books and the meditation changed me totally in my ways to approach people and issues. I learned to be more down-to-earth. I had a journey just like Jenna's. We found the important things in life eventually. A happy ending for all.
Posted at 12:29 AM in Thoughts
Sunday, February 22, 2004
It was about the same time last week, I made my weekly call to mom and started the normal five minutes conversation. It quickly upsetted me as soon as Mom began to tell the same old theory and successful life stories. I responded with impolite impatience and requested Mom to treat me more like an adult and respect my understanding of the society and life. However, deep inside, I knew i am avoiding issues and all I did was to try not to let them scrutinize my life no matter how much I do want them to get close to me.
After so many years of drifting away unwillingly, Mom called for my return. She complained that I don't tell them anything happening and all she can do is to guess what's going on here in the States and worry about whatever I did not confide to them. Her voice cracked as she spoke and her tear brought me back at that moment and make me realized again how much she missed me and cared about me. I miss them too. I am such a sucker in telling them how I feel. In addition to the burden I have on the back for so many years, I couldn't contain myself any more. In a period of one minute, Mom kept crying out to let me tell her and I kept saying I would tell her if I am ready. Mom is always a brave women and she has been the one who hold our family together and take all the responsibility she can or cannot afford on her own. The hardship in her life has made her so strong and she vowed she was ready for whatever I wanted to say to her... So I did it, without any delicate planning and worrying about the consequences. There goes the truth...
Continue reading "One Week After..."
Posted at 1:05 AM in Thoughts
Sunday, February 1, 2004
I found out this morning that NBC is rivaling CBS's super bowl sunday with ALL NIGHT Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. What a funny and interesting move. NBC says:"Football is for Sissies". :)
Posted at 12:32 PM in Thoughts
Thursday, January 1, 2004
I intended to put this post this post a little bit early yesterday, well, in this case, last year to talk about some interesting opinion about the term "Happy New Year". It's a rather pessimistic idea about the actual meaning of happy new year to many people.
There are so many people who aren't satisfied with their lives in the past year and want a new start. Saying Happy New Year to each other seems to bring happiness to everyone althought it may not change the luck or whatever you need to change the life around. It's just another way to comfort yourself and other people and say, it's okay, next year, everything will be different and better. Let's have high hope for it and expect every wish you made in the last minute of the year will come true, all the distress and sadness in the past year will be gone, the world will be peaceful for a while after Saddam were captured... Not everything will change over time, but we have hope, and we hope the new year will truly a happy one. Until then, we can say at the end of the year, I had a happy old year and I will have a happy new year!
Posted at 12:17 AM in Thoughts
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Again, it's easier to get into depression than I thought. Although my outlook is still great and I'm optimistic about what I am doing, it's still sad to be sad sometimes. For what? Frankly, I don't have a clear idea about that. It could be because of the lose connection with someone I cared about, and it's could be the loneliness I felt most of time, it could be the homesickness started to hit me and many other reasons.
Thanksgiving day is approaching. I still have no idea what I will do during the holidays. For that reason, spending holidays, which should be happy and relaxing days, is worse than spending normal days.
However, I tried my best to fill my day with meaningful activities. I started to run early in the day and workout as usual. Spending the afternoon reading a book in Borders is becoming a routine. Some television at night to relax. The only thing I lack is a guy to talk to, to have fun with. Hopefully I can find someone who is intelleturally interesting and likes me at the same time. :)
I fighted with Huawei yesterday after a long hiatus since August. However, it doesn't bother us as much as before. We kind of just let it go and don't talk about the issues anymore as we both knew it's futile to waste time talking. I felt really depressed the whole night while listening to the group in the couseling center. Jean is leaving the group and it's really not the right time for that to happen. After nearly everyone in the group voiced their opinions about his leaving, I told him what I have in mind about the whole issue. I think it's not for our benefits to invite him to stay in the groups for extra weeks. It's really for him to digest and process what happened here and leave the group as a peaceful person instead of a angry, hateful individual. He really appreciated my opinion.
One change I found out that I learned in the group is that I can see a person I normally would like in a likable way. Gene is a person who is emotional, caring although having trouble communicating and mingling with others. I understand him because I'm in a way similar to him, but I cannot stand him sometimes when he tried to be a co-therapist. I always felt that I would be so happy to see him to leave. But when it does happen, I felt kind of sad while feeling relieved. Whatever it is, I hope he can deal with his life and his numerous struggles well.
Posted at 12:09 AM in Thoughts
Sunday, November 9, 2003
This is said by the Mom in "Six Feet Under". The character played by Rachael Griffin responded, "Aren't we all?" and left.
She is such a great actress. The subtle movement can express so much feelings. Bravo!
Posted at 11:08 PM in Thoughts
Sunday, October 19, 2003
It's been weird since I came back from LA. I don't have interest to watch TV any more. I just want to sit in a peaceful environment and read books. While in LA, I spent a few afternoons reading books in Barnes and Nobles. It's great to find out how wonderful the world is by reading books. Currently I am reading One L by Scott Turow. It's an fasinating book to read. I almost make up my mind to go to law school after talking with Steve in LA and this just make the law school life more interesting. Don't get me wrong, it's tough, but it sounds fun and really is up to individual to adjust accordingly. I am so tired of being inefficient and doing something I don't want to do. Although I'm not sure I want to be lawyer yet except the fact that the income is great, I am sure I will like the education in law school. Before going for that, I will start practicing writing and reading skills intensively in order to succeed in law school.
I got up very early this morning and took Lu Jin and Wang Ting to the airport. They will visit LA for about a week for a chemical engineering conference. It felt great to help people out. I'm glad they asked me this time since they never asked me before to take them to the airport while I asked Jin's favor many times. I am kind of feeling guilty about the whole thing. But this morning balanced things out a little bit.
Posted at 10:18 PM in Thoughts
Friday, September 26, 2003
The Guys, the play by Anne Nelson was on Ingram Center tonight. I went to see it. Actually I didn't know what it was about before I got into the theatre. So I used the interim before the play started to find out that it's a tribute to the firefighters after the tragedy happened on September 11, 2001. The two actors performance carries out the scars and emotional disturbances of the people who did their work and lost their closest friends and family members. Any ordinary characters displayed in it can be found in everyone's life. There is always that average Joe doing his own things. You guys fight and just doing usual stuff. But as soon as he is guy, you began to realize how terrific this person is by retrospect the life. The firefighters are great. Solute to them.
Accidentally, there was a huge fire took place in a nursing home the day before the play was on. Some people lost their lives in the burning down building. A lady mentioned in a very sad and peaceful manner during the Q&A session to bring everyone into reality and also connect everyone to the play. I meant to talk to the white-haired lady as I stepped out of the theatre, but I didn't do it as usual. :(
I went to work out this morning and met David again. It's a little bit awkward again. But I just pretend to be normal and cool doing my workout. After a while, he came back complaining his webhosting service is crap and the service provider is not providing any assistance. I figured out he knew nothing about those web publishing thing. So I offered to help him out as a way to know him better. He called me about five hours later during my little nap time and ask me to meet him somewhere on campus. I was glad he called. Then I drove there and went to the computer lab with him. It took me no time to figure out things for him and get things done. I can tell he was really excited and amazed to see how I do those HTML coding thing. He encouraged to really start to doing the webdesigning thing and make money out of it. Very good advice. I think I am gonna do it and make that happen. I probably need some small business advice from someone or some book. Whatever it is, hope it works out okay.
Posted at 11:56 PM in Thoughts
Thursday, September 18, 2003
I talked with sis a few days ago and helped her to revise her resume. After I sent the revised version back and discussed it with her on the phone, it seems that she is not very impressed and sounded reserved. It's her traditional response though. Maybe she is not confident about her ability, maybe she is tired of current situation and is depressed. There are many maybes. All those leads to my reflection on current status. I am like her--not liking my work, not happy with what I do, not working hard to refurbish resume, not trying hard enough to find a job... It's very similar. Everyone is good at giving advices, but when it come to his/her own situations, no one is quite the same person who is giving out advice.
I remembered there is an article in high school article or something like that talking about "people who are in the mud cannot see why he is in the it, but the people outside can see it clearly". That's exactly what happened here. I saw the problem that she is not working hard enough to achieve her full potential and I am doing the same thing, plus blaming her at the same time for not doing it. What a irony!
I saw Chad on Tuesday and talked about how cruel the kids are in the United States. They call people who wear glasses as nerds, geeks, and even faggots. Chad said that's the competitiveness they learned and saw from their parents who were doing the exact same thing at work, while having fun... The competitiveness shown on TV is encouraged and trashing talking is okay to many people while I, who came from a diffrent culture, would think that's vulgar and stupid. All the psychological effects will play a big part during the competition, but that's not what the fair competition about. But in reality, WHO CARES? If only they win, they couldn't care less about the shame and ugliness. It's clearly shown on Wednesday's Big Brother 4. Ali's parents are "proud" of their girl doing trashing talking, back stabbing on national television. I am even embarrassed by them. Don't they have a slightest idea of what should be taught to their children? All the morality and values are totally lost in some families.
I am talking about competitiveness tonight. We all should be competitive. (although I wasn't as competitive as I want to be, I am sure I can learn it.) At the same time, the competition should be carried out in a fair and moral way. Not by other ugly little tricks.
The lessons I learned from so many reality shows are being competitive and the right way to deal with people although I still have a hard to to use those tactics. Those things will benefit me in the long run.
Posted at 10:17 PM in Thoughts
Monday, September 15, 2003
I had an interview with Mr. Buckmaster from GE Plastics. We talked about the position and what the work will be like if I join the company. He is interviewing more people and building up a research team geared towards to customized plastic design. At the end of the interview, he mentioned that he will send out an email about the signup package and what they could offer. I haven't get the information yet, but I hope it's a good offer and make me to really think hard to decide whethere I should go back or not. We'll see...
I cooked Chicken Noodle Soup tonight. With some fresh parsley, chicken broth, and egg noodle. I made a nice soup dinner. There are more stuff in the soup book. Need more time to experience it.
Posted at 11:30 PM in Thoughts
Friday, September 12, 2003
I went to the dinner with Huawei, Jinwei's friends and we celebrated Moon festival together. It's not as bad as I thought. There are totally eight people and I liked one person. The rest of them are pretty self centered and boring. I talked with the Hu Qian, Jinwei and another girl during the dinner and have some interesting conversations.
Afterwards, I took 3 of them back to school. Two left earlier in the garage and I was in the car with Qian. We kind of have some natural conversation started about everything going on in life and LSAT preparation. She suggest me to go to law school and she really think I will be very good at it since my logic reasoning is great in her eyes. I am very encouraged by her words. But the conversation part about her attitude towards life make me really reconsider what I have thought about my life. I need to try 100 times harder to make life better and I cannot just do what I am doing right now while expecting things will change for good magically. It won't happen. The good things only happen to people who try. I wasn't trying hard enough, and I will start doing that. Thanks to her for this talk and it was very meaningful and in time.
Posted at 11:32 PM in Thoughts
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Oops, it's not a discussion about the possibility and reality any more. The possibility BECAME a reality, even it's on a TV show. Anyhow, we are both clear about the fact that it's a different issue we are talking about and more importantly care about. So, let it be.
I truely believe what you said about how hard it is and so forth, because otherwise there wouldn't be so many people who are lonely in all their lives. And it's just because of that hardship, there are people who are willing to put up with all kinds of tests, and there are people who are willing to take the tests at the same time to go to the next steps. That's far more important than whether they can find true love or not. The process made them grow and mature, and that IS the most beautiful thing eventually.
As for whether the show is fake or not, I couldn't care less. At least it showed a bright side of human being and that's what most reality shows lack of right now.
Happy Mid-Autumn's day to you. Enjoy it with your Mom. Say hi to her.
Posted at 5:33 PM in Thoughts
Monday, September 8, 2003
NBC.com > For Love or Money 2
The final episode of For Love or Money 2 is shown tonight and Erin decided to choose Chad. He played a little trick for a bit and make Erin think think he was gonna to choose money. It was funny to see how Erin relieved after getting the news that he actually chose her over one million dollars. I felt great that there were true love in the world and it CAN happen on television shows. I just find Hu Qian's phone number and call her up to tell her the news. Just to prove she is wrong about the true love will make me feel good. :)
Congratulations to Erin and Chad. You two look great together.
Posted at 10:10 PM in Thoughts
Thursday, September 4, 2003
After about five hours sleep, I got up and got ready to counseling with Chad. We talked a little bit about the roommate situation as usual at the beginning. Same old things.
Sometime in the middle of the counseling, I mentioned that I begin to post blogs online and it's just for myself. Most of time, when people put blogs online and they keep records of their life, at the same time, they share it with other people. I didn't do anything to pormote the site and let people come to see it. It will probably make me feel good to get some feedback from other users. However, it's mainly to record the thoughts and my evolving process. Chad is very insightful as I told him the story and he analyzed it as a convinient easy way for me to communicate with people while avoid direct contact with public. Very interesting thoughts. It's very true in so many parts of my life and I didn't realize it until he pointed out. I'm glad he helped me out on this again. The best thing to solve a problem is to identify a problem first and tring to face it and solve it later. I'm at a good starting point with Chad's help. As a reminder, he poiinted out to me before that I might not like myself very much since the people I didn't like usually share some common characters with me. That's another big harvest of counseling. I didn't get upset at all, instead, I'm so happy and enlightened. Psychology, what a science. :)
I catched up another episode of OC this afternoon on tape. It's a great show, although it's a little bit exaggerated and unrealistic. The good thing about is that it shows the bright side of human being and make me feel more positive in many ways and teach lots of proper real-life intereactions. Love all those kids.
Posted at 3:52 PM in Thoughts
I couldn't believe that I spent another three hour tonight (well, this morning) trying to make the blogger's interface look better. I like the final results nonetheless. It's simple and artistic.
I went to Steve's new apartment tonight and hang out with him for a while. It's fun and we talked a lot about each other's life and stuff. I'm glad we keep in touch and keep the friendship going.
There were only 5 people left in the Big brother 4 house. After tonight, Jee was eliminated. The left four people are Jun, Erika, Ali and Robert. Three girls against one guy. I thought the three ladies alliance will go to the final three. However, Robert did a great job and get the hold of the HOH. The Head of Household title will guarantee his position in the final three. I'm not a big fan of his. But it's good to see a guy in the finals. :) Good luck, Robert. At the same time, I hope Jun will win. She really deserve it because she is smart, palying game hard, also, because she is asian. I root for minority as always. Good luck to Jun too. Whoever win, just don't like Ali win. That bitch doesn't deserve anything. Most of the audience will feel the same way.
Posted at 4:01 AM in Thoughts
Wednesday, September 3, 2003
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
Tech Support: Yes I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your heart. Have you located your heart Ma'am?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running Ma'am?
Customer: Let's see, I have past-hurt, low self-esteem, grudge, and resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase past-hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override low self-esteem with a module of it's own called high self-esteem. However, you have to completely turn off grudge and resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off Ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until grudge and forgiveness have completely erased.
Customer: Okay done, Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "error-program not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry Ma'am, It means the Love program is set-up to run on internal hearts but has not yet been run on your heart. In non-technical terms, it means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So what should I do?
Tech Support: Can you pull down self-acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-self; Realize your worth; Acknowledge your limitations.
Customer: OK, done.
Tech Support: Now copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete verbose self-criticism from all directories and empty your recycle bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey!!! My Heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang-up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and it's various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: I promise to do just that. By the way, what's your name?
Tech Support: Just call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as the Great Physician, or just "I AM." Most people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy; but the manufacturer (ME) suggests a daily maintenance schedule for maximum Love efficiency. KEEP IN TOUCH!
Posted at 3:55 PM in Thoughts
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Finally get the work persmission card today from INS. I actually thought those guys will mail it to my apartment. Fortunately, ISSS called me today to respond my inquiry about OPT status. I figured it might be there. It WAS! Now, I really need to put more efforts into job hunting with the skills Callie told me today.
Go though Alumni and Dore2dore website. Also find job information through Nashville Chamber of Commerce. It sure will make the job hunting perspective a lot better. Hope it works.
There was a program tonight on CBS's 60 Minutes II, Dean Kamen, the inventer of SEGAWAY, revealed his life, his invention, his passion about technology. That's exactly what life is about. The happiness of doing what you enjoy is the most wonderful thing in the world. Dean Kamen, you are the MAN!
Again, I didn't try to make the relationship work with Huawei. I think sometime this weekend I will have a talk with her and get things straightened out. I understand she is nice, and sometimes it's my problem to take things in the wrong way. However, I don't want her to attack me for no reason and she need to understand what's her position and what's her role in the relationship.
Posted at 9:29 PM in Thoughts
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
yesterday is the 3 year anniversary of staying in U.S.
I spent the night alone. But to make things a little bit happier, I cooked a dilicious dish and devoured it. :) Chicken is so tender and green peper is awesome with a spicy jalapeno twist.
It's been three years and lots of changes happened. I'm moving in a good direction. God help me to be a better person.
Posted at 12:49 AM in Thoughts
Saturday, August 16, 2003
Today sucks. So depressed still from yesterday's fight with Huawei. She did that again and begin to humiliate me by saying very heinous words.
I told her that was it. I would't take it any more.
It's better stay away from that bitch anyway.
Then I spent the whole day watching TV and movies. Aimee and Jaguar tells a very touching love story about lesbians during wartime. The true love and true color of human being is revealed completely. After depressed afternoon, I watched "I am Sam". It's an overall touching film. However, the part that make me feel so close to is the confession Michele Pheifer made to Sean Penn's character "Sam". Everybody expect the successful lawyer who has everything she wanted in the world to be happy, and a guy like Sam will be living a miserable life for not being intelligent. However, the reality is the greedy part of human being eat up all the good things, and unfortunately, most people don't realize it until a guy whom nobody expect to teach them lesson taught an important part of being human being---Love. Love family, love kids, love friends, love the people who deserve it.
I have been watching many movies like this and I believe they completely changed my view of life and human being. However, it's still a huge task for me to put the lessons and tips I learned from those movies into real life. I'm writing down those thoughts right now and hopefully I will read it later on and found the true meaning of the life and the way to apply in my own life.
Posted at 12:38 AM in Thoughts
