Changing Association
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
After working for a few months, I'm reaching an enthusiasm plateau. Although I know I have to do things to be successful, I'm not doing it most of time. The consequence is that it's very draining emotionally everyday after work thinking "oh, gosh, I didn't do much or anything at all". I realize it's a dangerous stage and decide to make a change.
Although I usually don't like to hear other people talk about how self-help books and tapes improved their lives significantly, I personally don't mind finding the right book by myself. After I do find the right one, starting it is another challenge. The draining plateau is enough for me to say--it's now or never. I want to be in charge of my life. There are so many things I need to change.
I have been thinking negatively about what Mom did to us emotionally and imagine how much better I will be today if she didn't do such and such... If I haven't waste so much time in the past, how far ahead will I be by now? If I learned when I was a kid how to deal with people and build positive relationships, how much happier will I be? Too much complaining and no actions. I hate myself for that. Oh, wait a minute, that's another bad association. The focus shall be I am in charge and I can become who I want to be. The key is to target the problems when I face them, be positive about situation and make the best out of anything.
When I woke up this morning, a few things appeared in my mind, I suddenly realized I have been thinking about other people's caring comment as a critic. The association I had before is so wrong. The good thing is I'm happy about it because I now knew something is wrong and I can fix it. Good changes will come along while keeping the positive attitude towards life.
I haven't been updating the website for a while, I am gonna keep up the momentum of learning and jot down small things that happened in my head. It's a great start again.
