Counseling and others things
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Again, it's easier to get into depression than I thought. Although my outlook is still great and I'm optimistic about what I am doing, it's still sad to be sad sometimes. For what? Frankly, I don't have a clear idea about that. It could be because of the lose connection with someone I cared about, and it's could be the loneliness I felt most of time, it could be the homesickness started to hit me and many other reasons.
Thanksgiving day is approaching. I still have no idea what I will do during the holidays. For that reason, spending holidays, which should be happy and relaxing days, is worse than spending normal days.
However, I tried my best to fill my day with meaningful activities. I started to run early in the day and workout as usual. Spending the afternoon reading a book in Borders is becoming a routine. Some television at night to relax. The only thing I lack is a guy to talk to, to have fun with. Hopefully I can find someone who is intelleturally interesting and likes me at the same time. :)
I fighted with Huawei yesterday after a long hiatus since August. However, it doesn't bother us as much as before. We kind of just let it go and don't talk about the issues anymore as we both knew it's futile to waste time talking. I felt really depressed the whole night while listening to the group in the couseling center. Jean is leaving the group and it's really not the right time for that to happen. After nearly everyone in the group voiced their opinions about his leaving, I told him what I have in mind about the whole issue. I think it's not for our benefits to invite him to stay in the groups for extra weeks. It's really for him to digest and process what happened here and leave the group as a peaceful person instead of a angry, hateful individual. He really appreciated my opinion.
One change I found out that I learned in the group is that I can see a person I normally would like in a likable way. Gene is a person who is emotional, caring although having trouble communicating and mingling with others. I understand him because I'm in a way similar to him, but I cannot stand him sometimes when he tried to be a co-therapist. I always felt that I would be so happy to see him to leave. But when it does happen, I felt kind of sad while feeling relieved. Whatever it is, I hope he can deal with his life and his numerous struggles well.
Posted at November 12, 2003 in Thoughts
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